Jon Randles Hump Day Tips - Love Animals

The information in this article is not intended to be professional, legal, or medical advice. 

No this article is not going to be about farm animals, you're definitely in the wrong spot if that's what you're looking for. Today I'm going to talk about the different images you portray (particularly men) depending on how much you love animals and how you interact with them.

Most women (and people for that matter) will be more likely to want a lasting relationship with a partner who shows the capacity to be gentle, tolerant, playful, and most importantly nurturing. These are all characteristics of a good parent, something that at least one of you more then likely wants the other to be. So how can you show off your compassion for raising life, and increase your chances for love without having any babies on hand? Pet a puppy!

When you meet your girlfriends pet, and you moan and groan, shy away, comment on the shedding, and don't jump at the opportunity to pet it - you're basically saying "Ew gross, little yappy things with dirty paws and slobber don't bring a smile to my face, and I don't care for them much at all.". Guess what other little critters have similar characteristics to these house hold animals? Babies. That's right, you just effectively cock-blocked yourself. Not only that, but you made yourself look like a little bitch. A man should be confident, solid, have a commanding demeanor, and yet be willing to let his guard down, role around in the yard and let something fluffy lick his face. You don't have to pick the pet up, take your voice up ten octaves and say "who's a good girl, who's a good girl, you are, yes you are!" (This might actually work against you depending on what type of man your lover is looking for). But still, it is attractive for even the most rugged of men to provide sanctuary for a beloved pet on his lap, pat him on the head and say "that's a good boy.". Being abusive or aggressive towards animals will not score you any points at all and makes you a complete ass hole.

Your partner loves their pet more than they love you. This can be frustrating, but not if you squash your hatred towards cats and learn how to pet one. Use this opportunity to show your lover you care about what makes them happy. If you become best friends with Spot the dog then Spot is going to be happier when your around. What makes Spot happy, makes Mommy happy, and that means having you around more often.

People with animals are the easiest to strike up an initial conversation with. Who doesn't want to stop to talk with a stranger (and potential lover) when they compliment them on their beautiful dog and ask to pet him? You can hang out with me and pet my dog all day. Not sure how to message somebody online? If 4 out of their 6 profile photos are selfies of them with their teacup-Yorkie, say "You and are your puppy are so adorable together, what's his name?" You just guaranteed yourself a reply and your foot is in the door.

Nobody ever really likes to hear that someone doesn't like animals. If that someone is you, then do yourself a favor and fake it. Or maybe just search deep inside your little heart and see if you can find room to love that hairless ugly little cat. You'll be a better person for it, and you'll increase your chances of putting the moves on, and taking the pants off.

That's all for meow.

- Jon Randles